Kids part 1

( inspired by the RW and Kylie duet )
Because we want the kids to be alright.
You can not change the whole world, but you can try and change the world for one person.

As mentioned before we started our first adoption procedure (in 2000) to be able to be a family.
The years before were filled with medical procedures, but we did go to one information meeting about adoption during that time.

I do believe and think, we both always wanted children in our lives.

So when starting a family did not happen in a 'relatively easy' way we had to decide what to do to have this wished-for family.

Of course, like most prospective parents, we would have liked a child (children) with our genetic material, looks, behaviour etc. (at least, most of it ;-) But far more important was (and still is) raising a child, loving him/her,educating him/her, sharing our general hopes, beliefs, lives and - when the time has arrived - letting go.

Here a (very) short summary of what happens in general terms around the choices one has to make.
Firstly there is the VIA (vereniging interlandelijke adoptie) course, which seems to be designed to warn prospective adoptive parents off at first....

Then later you can put that more into perspective and realize it is a bit of reality check for yourself and to arm you both against some negative feelings about adoption in the media.

After this course you go on to choose the agency that you want to use for adoption.
In our case Wereldkinderen, in Den Haag, started in 1971 consisting of volunteers and professional people and having 2 goals: Project Help and Adoption if all else has been tried.

With them you narrow your choice down to a continent and eventually a country.
To do this you have to make what we call "a shopping list" (wensen & grenzen): what do you think you can handle (limits) and what would you really like and prefer (wishes).

To be very clear we have always chosen Africa, this comes from a deep 'gut feeling' (buikgevoel)
the whole process, to my mind is impossible to rationalize.

We adopt and are not ashamed of it nor proud of it!

Which meant for us we did not feel the need to have a child which had the same colour of skin as us. And adopting means per definition that your child has a different genetic make-up and cultural and social background. (Which both us already had a little bit more being from different countries).

So we arrived to our first choice Africa!

And, due to our wishes and circumstances, to Ethiopia to adopt our first child from.

I want to end with mentioning the nice video of Life is good! Playmakers that is added at the bottom of the pages.

Happy Watching.

(more in Kids part 2)

De Procedure voor Kenia, deel 1. (onze 2de adoptieprocedure)

Hallo lezers,                                                               augustus 2011 te Hoofddorp in Nederland.

Hier wat meer over de praktische kant van onze 2de adoptie procedure.
In november 2005 gingen we naar Ethiopie en kwamen terug met onze zoon Matthew Kebede.
Een jaar later in 2006 konden we, indien we dat wilden een 2de procedure opstarten.

Zoals eerder hier gezegd hoopten we 2 weken geleden alles binnen te hebben en op te sturen aan Wereldkinderen maar het duurt (zoals wel vaker bij adoptie) allemaal wat langer...

Wereldkinderen is 1 van de 5 vergunning houders die nu actief zijn wat betreft adoptie van kinderen uit het buitenland. (er zijn er 7 geweest).

Wereldkinderen is een vereniging en opgericht in 1971 (goed jaar!) WK werkt met professionele mensen die vaak al langer in dienst zijn en de landen goed kennen.

Het werkgebied bestaat uit 2 deelgebieden  Projecthulp en indien niet anders mogelijk (vanuit perspectief kind), Adoptie uit diverse landen.

De documenten moeten allemaal op de juiste manier getekend zijn (handtekening, naam leesbaar, stempel en datum) dan naar de notaris, (volgende week) en dan de rechtbank in Haarlem (daarna)
dan alles opsturen naar Wereldkinderen die zorg dragen voor Ministeries van Justitie en Buitenlandse zaken en het Consulaat van Kenia.

Waarna alles naar Kenya gaat (Engelse spelling) en de procedure daar verder gaat.

In Kenia gaan de documenten via  CWSK (Child Welfare Society of Kenya) de lokale vergunninghouder voor interlandelijke adoptie naar het :
Kenyan Adoption Committee dit is een erg belangrijke stap!
Nadat de documenten ontvangen zijn (september?) zullen zij binnen 30 dagen uitspraak doen.

Want na goedkeuring door dit Nationaal Adoptie Comité kunnen we aan de volgende stap beginnen!

Via het CWSK en WK krijgen wij een voorstel: er wordt een kindje toegewezen, met een dossier, naam, foto(s) en verdere informatie. (Wij hopen dat dit in oktober zal zijn).  De aanvraag voor ons door WK is een kind tussen de 24 maanden (2 jaar) en maximaal 5 jaar oud.

Binnen drie maanden na onze acceptatie van het voorstel kunnen we afreizen naar Nairobi, Kenya.

Daar dienen we 3 maanden voor het kindje te zorgen (de verzorgingsperiode).   We worden dan bezocht door de lokale vertegenwoordigers van de kinderbescherming en rechtbank.  Tijdens deze verzorgingsperiode worden verschillende rapporten geschreven.

Daarna zal een lokale advocaat samen met ons als adoptief ouders de rechtbank procedure opstarten. Er volgen 3 hoorzittingen waarbij beide ouders geacht worden aanwezig te zijn.  Deze rechtbankprocedure duurt minimaal 3 à 6 maanden (totale verblijf dus minstens 6 à 9 maanden).
Hierbij zijn verschillende andere personen en instanties betrokken waarover meer in een vervolg over de procedure deel 2.

Zoals je ziet hebben we alle spelers  en hoofdrolspelers onderstreept om een indruk te geven hoeveel mensen er betrokken zijn bij het gehele proces.

Hopelijk is er hierdoor nog meer duidelijkheid hoe het werkt voor iedereen.

Met vriendelijke groeten van Peter en Jane

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Hello readers,                                                               August 2011, Hoofddorp, Netherlands

Here is some more information about the practical side of our second adoption procedure.  In November 2005 we went to Ethiopia and returned with our son Matthew Kebede.  A year later in 2006, we could if we wished, submit a request for a second procedure.

As mentioned earlier here, we were hoping to have everying ready to send to World Children 2 weeks ago but as is usually the case with adoption, everything takes longer......

World Children (Wereldkinderen) is 1 of the 5 licence holders who are now actively working on foreign adoption cases (there have ben 7 in the past).

World Children is an association that was founded in 1971 (a good year!).  They are staffed by professionals who have been with them a long time and know the countries well.

They work in 2 areas: project help and if there are no other options (from the child's perspective), adoption from various countries.

The documents we need for adoption must all be completed in the correct way of course and then actioned in the correct way: signed (signautre, legible name, date and stamp of the party) then to the lawyer (next week) for legalising, followed by the court in Haarlem.  Then everything is sent to World Children who take them on to the Ministries of Justice and Foreign Affairs and the Kenyan Embassy for further legalisations. 
After which everything goes to Kenya and the procedure continues there.

In Kenya the documents go to the CWSK (Child Welfare Society of Kenya) the local licence holder for international adoption, where they are submitted to the Kenyan Adoption Committee; this is a very important step.  After the documents have been received (September?) They will make their decision.

Because after the approval by the National Adoption Committee we can begin the next step.

Via World Children, we will get a propsal from CWSK: a child will be matched with us with a file, name, photos and other information.  (We hope this will be in October).  Our request is for a child between 24 and 48 months (2-4 years old). 

Within 3 months of accepting the proposal we can travel to Nairobi, Kenya.

There we have to look after the child for three months (the foster period).  We will be visited by the local representatives of child welfare and the court.  During this process various reports will be written.  Then we will work with a local lawyer who will start the court procedure with us.  This court procedure will take between 3-6 months (therefore a total stay of 6-9 months).  There are several different people and parties involved in this, more about them all in a future post, Procedure part 2.
As you can see, I have underline and bolded the people and parties involved to give an idea of how many people are involved in the whole process.

I hope this makes it a bit clearer for everyone how this works. 

With kind regards,
Peter and Jane Rison

What do you need to adopt a child ?

That is a pretty good question...

Once you leave the obvious answer (and truth) for what is, off course one needs love, and move on to look at it in a broader way there are a couple of things.
Once again this is very much my opinion!, so do feel absolutely free to react with other opinions, or mention things I might forget!
So, what is it you need as adopting parents...
Patience, Faith and Means...
Patience is a virtue... adoption is a long an slow process during which you will encounter several official participants.
Because of different reasons, ignorance, sloppy attitudes, and circumstances things will go differently and even slower than expected.Only by giving and receiving the right information and by keeping the channels of communication open, you will get through the difficult phases.
That is between, you and the official participants, between you and your adoption agency and off course, last but not least in your realtionship.
Faith, not necessarily as in a religion (although personally I do think this helps a lot) but mainly in yourself as a person, a parent and eachother as a partner in your relationsgip as well as in other people you encounter during the whole process. You will have to believe that everybody is reacting and working in your (and espescially the childs) best interest.That does not mean that you can/may not be critical of procedures and agreements, but always remember that a lot of (care) professionals have got an awfull lot of work, and hardly ever enough appreciation for what they are doing, so back to the first point have patience!
Have faith in the people you encounter, that they are doing the best they can given their cicumstances.
Also have faith that you are going to be parents and that it will happen!

To be clear, Adoption starts (generally speaking) nearly allways with a wish to have a child, to love, to bring up, to teach and to let go when the time is there.
Now with our second procedure we know a lot more about adoption as a whole, and circumstances, points of vieuw in the 'adoption triangle' etcetera.
More about my thoughts about this later.

What else do you need to adopt a child, (or even children) Means, which could be replaced with money, but it is more.
One has to realise that everything takes time (patience) believe that it will happen (faith) and make it possible yourselves bij saving up for the actual adoption procedure costs and everything before and after the adoption.
( And no I'm not goint to give a breakdown of the costs here, if you really want to know, i'm certain you can find out or ask me directly)
It means to you have to make choices, as you can only spend your money once!
Do we know exactly where the money will go too ? That is (and seems more today than ever) a question that is asked a lot of times. No, not exactly up to every hundred euro's/dollars/pounds, bir or shilling. But generally speaking we do get an overview of what the costs are and what is spend from our agency in broad amounts so we know where the lump sum "flows" to.
There are an awfull lot of people involved with an adoption, and each organisation, or part of government they work for get a 'cut', which is in itself not an enormous problem.People work, spend time on your case and need to get paid for that time & effort spend.
But what about corruption ? That is something I do not honestly know much about and do not think about a lot. We trust the agency, Wereldkinderen, we deal with and expect that they do their best to handle things fair, for us, the child and the country where it comes from.
Closer to home I do occasionally wonder WHY every certificate from the (Dutch) government has to cost so much money ( € 30.00 is normal for a piece of paper) , why nothing can go correct in 1 try and why there are differences between councils in price and so on.
This is really one of the things that costs a lot with the start of the procedure, the collecting of documents...
Visit in person, follow up by email, ask for a reply, phone up, send in again...
So, yes an adoption does cost a small car, but a lot of that is time, your own time, so there for means.
Eventually with the right amounts of patience, means and faith in a positive outcome you will be rewarded by the unconditional love of your adopted child!

That will be all for now, more later!